Hamster wheels

Turn round, round and around

Month: July, 2012

Two: Many wantons and one coffee.

I woke up at 5am this morning, watched videos of good running (amongst others, Mo Farah!) and drills in preparation for my morning session, and proceeded to work on my form and leg turnover along the little (mole)hill near Marina Bay Sands with E. Apart from other (hopefully) good things, I wanted to practise that mental focus and pro-activeness that I need if I want to inspire myself. On to trying to do the same through the work day.

Breakfast after! (:

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Prologues

So of late I’ve been feeling deflated, at work (especially) and what not. After the race at Port Dickson two weeks ago, even my confidence in sport dipped to a low.

And so I swam this morning. As I watched a mate cruise ahead, I noted with dismay that to date I still have not been able to improve my technique – I still don’t know how to swim. Perhaps it is time to let it go – that crossed my head an umpteenth time. Then there was a whisper, soft and indiscernible at first, before it got clearer.

Don’t give up yet, I said.

Life as-is and the passage of time

I went for yoga class last evening. At the end of the class the instructor said, “pause and note how you feel after the practice”. I paused, felt and noted this:-

“Much better than before the practice, but still like crap.”

But well we keep moving and trying.

Today is a new day; morning detox.

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Had these in Malaysia and was disappointed; I thought Wrigley’s gum was supposed to be white, flat, wrapped in that good old silver foil and perfectly impractical.

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A&W on our way back from PD; I classify it as something we didn’t treasure until it was gone or perhaps like only because it is gone.Image

E and I saw these at Bras Brasah; E says they are called “new old stock”, I call them a piece of my childhood.

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The first photo below was how I was looking for a while, and then on a whim one day I chopped the hair off. I think I wanted to feel young and free again. In the aftermath, I think I realised (with some regret and ugliness) that hair, like time, once gone will never come back. But yet, new hair grows and freedom and happiness still lies somewhere and can be sought, with time.

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Toodles and have a good weekend folks! (:

Same, same.

I have been meaning for years to post something here. But days, weeks, months just pass these days. So let’s write something today.

I went for my first full round island ride on Saturday. Done!

I was afraid to take my turn at the front, for fear that I couldn’t make it through the ride. But I did – heck it if I die. Along this uphill stretch at Kranji, I was supposed to go out in front. I tried but couldn’t, so one of the other guys went ahead for me while I drafted behind. I thought I was done working, but after 20km I got sick of the cowardly hiding. So I went out front again where I could. And then along the Seletar stretch the guys sprinted, I thought I couldn’t but tried all the same; I managed to keep up with the second pack. Along coastal the guys went again, I tried to go for the stars and went with the first group. I got dropped and spent, I couldn’t keep up with the second group as well. But I am happy I tried.

Somewhere throughout all that, I thought of my dearest gong gong. I remember him bringing us out to the track to cycle when we were young, frowning and scolding me because I couldn’t keep the bicycle straight and always swayed. I still can’t ride straight at times, especially when tired. But how I wish he was here to watch me fly. Its been a good two years since he has been gone, but the regret and reminiscence hasn’t gone. From time to time, I try to remember how hard he breathed his last breaths to push myself on. But I probably don’t remember enough. I am racing at Port Dickson this Saturday, and my dear man, this one is for you once again.

I am sitting here in my office now, looking forward to tomorrow morning’s ride but not so the night that is going to be spent here in the office. It has been a bad stretch at work but it will get better if we make it better. At the end of the day I am here by choice.

Good night world (: