Same, same.

by zylin

I have been meaning for years to post something here. But days, weeks, months just pass these days. So let’s write something today.

I went for my first full round island ride on Saturday. Done!

I was afraid to take my turn at the front, for fear that I couldn’t make it through the ride. But I did – heck it if I die. Along this uphill stretch at Kranji, I was supposed to go out in front. I tried but couldn’t, so one of the other guys went ahead for me while I drafted behind. I thought I was done working, but after 20km I got sick of the cowardly hiding. So I went out front again where I could. And then along the Seletar stretch the guys sprinted, I thought I couldn’t but tried all the same; I managed to keep up with the second pack. Along coastal the guys went again, I tried to go for the stars and went with the first group. I got dropped and spent, I couldn’t keep up with the second group as well. But I am happy I tried.

Somewhere throughout all that, I thought of my dearest gong gong. I remember him bringing us out to the track to cycle when we were young, frowning and scolding me because I couldn’t keep the bicycle straight and always swayed. I still can’t ride straight at times, especially when tired. But how I wish he was here to watch me fly. Its been a good two years since he has been gone, but the regret and reminiscence hasn’t gone. From time to time, I try to remember how hard he breathed his last breaths to push myself on. But I probably don’t remember enough. I am racing at Port Dickson this Saturday, and my dear man, this one is for you once again.

I am sitting here in my office now, looking forward to tomorrow morning’s ride but not so the night that is going to be spent here in the office. It has been a bad stretch at work but it will get better if we make it better. At the end of the day I am here by choice.

Good night world (: