Hamster wheels

Turn round, round and around

Month: August, 2012

Right; wrong.


At Queenstown swimming complex for the morning’s training. It reminds of the swimming lessons the parents brought us to as kids, and the fried chicken drumsticks thereafter.

I attended the Singapore Meditation Lecture yesterday, delivered by ex president SR Nathan. He said that meditation used to be a way of life in Asia, but as societies and people became more money and pressure driven, people shifted to a more fault based perspective and the adversarial legal process became the norm by which disputes are resolved. I recalled that back in school  we used to think of the Asian countries who still resort mainly to “guan xi” and private settlement as a little lawless in a bad way. But it may not be. But yet, as pointed out by one of the panelists, the sense of justice should still be present – right and wrong does exist. Perhaps we can mediate successfully within our “self” and with life as well.

On another note, when the speaker and panelists were introduced and their accolades read, I thought how it was beyond me to be a speaker or panelist one day. Then I thought about what it took and how I would like to be both passionate and excellent at something one day.

Hopping into the fish tank now. (:


love/hate tim tams; life gone by.

Another bag of tim tams,

Gone by like another day;

They make me think of my dear friend Pam;

But make the waistline and tomorrow pay.

To morning spins with love.

Many morning spins in my training programme this week; I love them. The wind, just keeping the cadence going and not thinking of speed, time or anything, singing to myself and screaming when I feel like it. It reminds me of the many morning rides I used to do on my own back in school, and makes me fall in love with cycling and my sport all over again (I do that-fall in love with my sport-every other day, hur).

I’ve been waking up a bit later (say, 515am instead of 4am) and sometimes I spend a bit of time with my loved ones before I head out of the house, so I end up riding in the peak period traffic towards the end of my ride. And I am starting to enjoy racing with the traffic – maybe because it is the only time I have a chance of winning.

Starting work now; another form of training, another fight which I chose in life. Ta!

(tell me) what you want, what you really really want.

I’ll confess to a mental kink of mine – I can’t do tempo runs. I’m happy to run fast and furious over a middle distance (3-5km), better yet if split into intervals in which case I’ll run even harder; I’m happy to go long, slow and let my head and emotions run/simply chill; but long and hard? I hate it/”can’t”. So I’ve always cheated; went that bit too slow but compensated with distance, cut the distance a little and compensated with speed. But it doesn’t work; those bits and a-littles are what that count. I’ve done less than 20 proper tempo runs in my life, and of course it shows and my inability to deal with the overheating that comes only with such sustained threshold efforts is my greatest limiter.

So I’ve confessed to coach, if not the mental kink, the said physical limiter and the lack of solid tempo runs due to bad execution. The result, of course, is the sensible addition of many tempo and long sustained efforts in my program.

Today’s program was a 12km run at between half marathon and 10k pace. I set my own target at a conservative 4:50 but which I thought would still stretch me. As life had it, by the time work ended the most sensible place to run was in the gym on the treadmill, and E was stuck at work so I ran alone. It felt easy when I started; I felt on top of the world. Midway, the heat came in but it was still bearable. When it got mentally difficult, I thought to myself how if I was someone who could complete such a set alone all along, I would never had started to lose; if I can constantly be such a someone, perhaps the day will come when I won’t lose.

I finished; boy, the elation. I know it isn’t much; most of you can run faster or further. But it is my own little personal victory today. I think the point isn’t even about winning; its about that strength. I only dream to win, because I think a person who does things right on all counts has little reason to lose. I dream of being that person I want to be, the best I can be.

In other news, the London olympics is the best I’ve experienced so far. My increased interest in sports was a factor, and the easy access was a great plus. I recall someone questioning whether Beijing’s well run games, not to mention the magnificent and expensive opening and closing,   placed pressure on London. The reply went along the line of “London is good at partying, maybe we’ll do that” and I loved the reply. It isn’t about money and perfection; we can each deliver in our own ways. And thank you for the one great party! I mean, when was the last time anyone saw the Spice Girls? (I was a fan in primary 6.)

Goodnight world. (: