(tell me) what you want, what you really really want.
I’ll confess to a mental kink of mine – I can’t do tempo runs. I’m happy to run fast and furious over a middle distance (3-5km), better yet if split into intervals in which case I’ll run even harder; I’m happy to go long, slow and let my head and emotions run/simply chill; but long and hard? I hate it/”can’t”. So I’ve always cheated; went that bit too slow but compensated with distance, cut the distance a little and compensated with speed. But it doesn’t work; those bits and a-littles are what that count. I’ve done less than 20 proper tempo runs in my life, and of course it shows and my inability to deal with the overheating that comes only with such sustained threshold efforts is my greatest limiter.
So I’ve confessed to coach, if not the mental kink, the said physical limiter and the lack of solid tempo runs due to bad execution. The result, of course, is the sensible addition of many tempo and long sustained efforts in my program.
Today’s program was a 12km run at between half marathon and 10k pace. I set my own target at a conservative 4:50 but which I thought would still stretch me. As life had it, by the time work ended the most sensible place to run was in the gym on the treadmill, and E was stuck at work so I ran alone. It felt easy when I started; I felt on top of the world. Midway, the heat came in but it was still bearable. When it got mentally difficult, I thought to myself how if I was someone who could complete such a set alone all along, I would never had started to lose; if I can constantly be such a someone, perhaps the day will come when I won’t lose.
I finished; boy, the elation. I know it isn’t much; most of you can run faster or further. But it is my own little personal victory today. I think the point isn’t even about winning; its about that strength. I only dream to win, because I think a person who does things right on all counts has little reason to lose. I dream of being that person I want to be, the best I can be.
In other news, the London olympics is the best I’ve experienced so far. My increased interest in sports was a factor, and the easy access was a great plus. I recall someone questioning whether Beijing’s well run games, not to mention the magnificent and expensive opening and closing, placed pressure on London. The reply went along the line of “London is good at partying, maybe we’ll do that” and I loved the reply. It isn’t about money and perfection; we can each deliver in our own ways. And thank you for the one great party! I mean, when was the last time anyone saw the Spice Girls? (I was a fan in primary 6.)
Goodnight world. (: